Jungkook
It’s the second day of being home so after managing to sleep in, I go downstairs for breakfast with Eomma. ‘Good morning honey.’ She greets as I go and give her a kiss on the cheek.
‘Good morning Eomma. The food smells delicious.’ I say as I help her to place the plates. She smiles at me and motions for me to sit down.
‘Are you eating well there?’ She asks and I nod.
‘Yes, Eomma. Jin-hyung makes sure of it. I mean there are days where we have to have quick meals but overall they take really good care of us.’ I say and I see her nodding.
‘Good, otherwise I’ll go and give them a proper tongue lashing.’ She says, making me laugh as she serves the food.
‘I’m sure you would Eomma.’I reply as she sits down and we begin to eat together.
‘So, what are your plans for today?’ She asks.
‘I’m going for a jog by the beach. I missed going down there. I also need to clear my room. I just realized how many unnecessary things I have in there. Listen, Jimin and his parents and brother are going to the diner for burgers and they want us to join. You think you can come?’ I ask.
‘Sure, I’d love that. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Jimin too and his family is really nice too.’ She says.
‘What about Appa?’ I ask.
‘I’ll give him a call. Maybe he can leave early from work today.’ She says.
‘I don’t know why he insists on working so much and you won’t let me help. He doesn’t even have to work anymore if you just let me help more.’ I say with a frown.
‘Jungkook dear, you’ve already helped us enough. You bought us the house remember? And you bought your appa the car so he can go to work without having to take the bus which means he gets more time to rest. Just because you’re an idol now, doesn’t mean you have to pay everything for us.’ She says.
‘I know Eomma but I want to. Growing up, I know the struggles we faced and how much Appa had to work.’ I say and she nods. ‘You made a lot of sacrifices for me and I wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for you.’ I add and I hear her sigh.
‘And you’re working really hard too. Now stop talking and eat or your food is going to get cold.’ She says, giving me the famous Eomma look. I chuckle as I continue to eat. We finish eating and I help her clear up before I go to my room and change into something more suitable for jogging. I grab my headphones and put on some music as I take off for a jog.
I reach one of the beautiful beaches here and I smile. It’s good to be back home. I stop for a minute as I sit down on the soft sand to try and catch my breath. I hear laughter and I look on as I see a family – the parents walking hand in hand while the two kids are running after each other and laughing as they do.
I’ve always wished to have siblings – a brother I could play with or a sister I can protect and tease like Namjoon and his sister. I always used to whine about it to my parents but they always shut me down. It was almost like the topic they never wanted to talk about. Now that I’m older, I understand that there might have been some problems or something but still, I feel like there’s something missing in my life. Maybe it’s because I see all my hyungs with their siblings but at least I’ve been lucky enough to have six incredible hyungs who are like brothers to me.
I stand up and start jogging back home. As soon as I arrive I take off my shoes and go to the kitchen to grab some orange juice when I find a note on the fridge. ‘I just went to the supermarket to buy some things. Appa said he’ll be able to come tonight. Love Eomma xx.’ I smile as I leave it there and put the orange juice back in place. I go to my room and sigh. I scratch the back of my head, unsure where to start clearing things.
I grab a black bag and start throwing away the things I definitely don’t need. I don’t even know why I hoarded them in the first place – old chargers which can no longer be used, headphones which don’t work anymore, pens which have gone dry. I grab a box as I place the things I don’t want to throw away. I nod satisfied as I grab the bag and box. I put the bag in the trashcan and grab the box and go upstairs to the attic. I place the box there when another box attracts my attention.
It’s beautifully decorated with pink paper covering it. It has a hand drawn pattern on it and a ribbon attached to it. ‘What’s this doing here?’ I ask myself as I take it in my hands. I look on top and see a label with a name on it – Jeon Minji. ‘Who the hell is Minji?’ I ask myself as I walk towards the rocking chair which is stored up here. I open the box and I see a photo of two newborn babies cuddling together. Cute – I think to myself. There is a small bag with a piece of baby hair. There are also a number of letters and I pick one randomly and start to read.
September 1, 2002
Dearest Minji,
Today is your fifth birthday. Days like these, I have to put up a brave face for Jungkook. It’s his fifth birthday too but while we are celebrating his birthday, I think of you. Are you celebrating your birthday too? Have you been adopted by now? Have you found a family that loves you the way we love your brother? I miss you more and more with each day that passes and I’m always questioning whether we did the right decision by giving you up, even if I know it was for the best….
I freeze as I read the letter, my hand shaking. ‘What is this? Brother? Adopted?’ I ask out loud as I grab another letter from the box as quickly as I can.
February 22, 2007
Dearest Minji,
I hope you’re doing okay. I always wonder how my little girl is doing. I wonder how you look like – do you look like your brother Jungkook? Do you have the same smile? I hope you’re eating healthy and doing everything you love. I hope you’re doing well in school too. Today, Jungkook, kept asking us why all his friends have siblings but he doesn’t. He’s gotten obsessed about wanting a brother or a sister but we keep avoiding the topic. He’s too young, he doesn’t understand how painful it is to talk about it. I feel so ashamed whenever he asks us. How are we supposed to tell him that he has a twin sister who is somewhere out there….
I stop reading, my eyes fixed on the letter in my trembling hand. So many questions keep running in my head but the one that keeps popping up is – why? Why didn’t they tell me the truth? I look back at the photo and turn it around to see what is written on the back.
September 1, 1997 – Jeon Jungkook and Jeon Minji
I gulp as I feel my breathing quicken, making it harder to breathe. I turn the photo back around and run my thumb over the picture – is she the missing piece? I put everything back in the box, except for the photo and go downstairs to the kitchen and sit down there while I wait for my parents to come home. They have a lot of explaining to do.
Finally, I hear the door opening and voices conversing together which means both Eomma and Appa are here. Good. ‘Jungkook, honey we’re home.’ Eomma calls out but I don’t respond. I stay sitting down, my eyes staring at the box in front of me and the photo in my hand. I hear the approaching footsteps as Eomma and Appa as they come in, holding bags. ‘Honey, we were calling you, didn’t you hear us?’ She asks, still unaware of the box on the table. They move around the kitchen as they start to place everything in place before I see Eomma freeze. ‘Jungkook – where did you find that box?’ She asks, forcing Appa to look as well.
I look up at them and see Eomma’s face which has gone pale while Appa gulps. I scoff and push the box forward. ‘Instead of asking where I found it, you should be trying to explain yourself.’ I say, trying to remain calm.
‘Jungkook we can explain everything.’ Appa begins.
‘Then explain it to me.’ I say, my voice slightly raised. I’ve never shouted at my parents in my whole life but right now everything feels too much. They exchange a look as they sit down. Eomma goes to reach for my hand but I pull it away.
‘Jungkook, you have a sister – a twin sister to be exact.’ Appa begins. I swallow, my throat feeling dry. ‘When you were born, we were really poor. We couldn’t afford to take care of both of you. We were given the option of aborting you two and then try again later but we couldn’t do that. So, your mother and I decided to give one up.’ He explains. I look at Eomma who has tears running down her cheeks which she quickly tries to wipe away.
‘We gave her up – our sweet little Minji. We wrote her a letter and gave her a locket and a photo – just like the one you’re holding.’ Eomma says between sniffles.
'I took her to the orphanage and placed her in a box and stayed until the nuns came to take her inside. That was the last time I ever saw her in my life. Your Eomma and I kept writing her letters over the years, the ones you found in that box.’ Appa says.
‘Do you at least know where she is now?’ I ask but they both shake their heads. ‘Why didn’t you ever tell me about her?’ I ask, looking at both of them. I feel the rage bubbling inside of me, anger which I don’t understand or can control.
‘We were ashamed of what we had to do and we never wanted you to feel that burden. We didn’t want you to know about her and feel the pain of not having her here.’ Eomma says.
‘You should have told me the truth.’ I scream as I slam my hand against the table which surprises both of them. I see my father getting angry as his eyes turn darker.
‘Jungkook, I know you’re upset but I won’t allow you to raise your voice with your mother. Apologize to her.’ My father yells standing up. I stand up as well and scoff.
‘You lied to me. All these years you lied to me. I have a sister somewhere out there and you robbed me of getting to know her. I get it – you had to give her up but you should have told me before.’ I say, trying to not raise my voice again. ‘I’m leaving. I can’t stand here and see your faces right now.’ I say as I go to my room, still holding the photo in my hand.
I grab my stuff and put them in the bag without bothering to pack properly. I throw them haphazardly, almost angrily, as if my clothes are to blame. I grab it and go to the door. I hear Eomma sobbing and I feel my heart squeeze but I can’t even look at them right now.
‘Jungkook don’t leave like this.’ Appa says, his voice softer now. I turn to look at him. I see Eomma standing right beside him.
‘I can’t stay here. I need to calm down and wrap my head around this. I am sorry I yelled.’ I say as I give them a little bow. I hurry through the door as I begin to jog towards the station. As soon as I arrive, I sit down and pull out my phone to text Jimin.
Hey hyung – I am going back to Seoul. I just wanted to let you know. JK.
What? Why? What happened? – Jimin
I found out about something and I just need to leave. I’ll explain when we’re back at the dorm. – JK
Do you want me to come with you? I can explain to my family and come with you. Just wait for me. – Jimin
No, hyung don’t worry about it. I’m already at the station anyways. Enjoy your time with your family and don’t worry about me. – JK
Are you sure? – Jimin
Yes, I’m sure. I’ll talk to you later. The train is here. – JK
I send the final text to Jimin and put my phone back in my pocket as I get on the train. It’s the long route which I don’t mind because it will give me time to think. I pay the fare and find a seat at the very back. The train starts moving and I sigh as I close my eyes.
I have a sister – a twin sister. Does she know about me? I wonder where she is or what she looks like. I pull out the photo and look at it again just as I feel the tears forming. My eyes sting as the first tear drops on the photo. I wipe away my other tear. ‘I’ll find you. I don’t know how or when – but I’ll find you Minji. I promise.’ I say.